Be the Good...

Where to begin?  In the adoption world there are hundreds of Facebook support groups.  There are support groups for transracial adoptive parents, Korean adoptive parents, domestic adoptions, international adoptions...the list goes on.  These groups are such a wonderful resource and form of support.  I've learned so much about topics that I didn't even know existed.  I've made friends with adoptive parents that I've never met and may never meet, but we are bonded with a common love for our precious children.

Now here is where my dilemma came about.  There is a lot of  diversity in these groups; which is a beautiful thing.  With diversity comes many different opinions and beliefs, which I respect.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.   Some adoptees and adoptive parents do not like the phrase, "it was meant to be." or "it's God's will that you were adopted."  (Note: If you are one of the people that feel this way, it's ok. I really get how you feel that way...)  People often talked about how there is no way that God would cause such suffering.  God wouldn't cause a child and mother to experience such loss and pain, just so that a child could live in an American home.   It really got me thinking, it made me a bit sad to think about.  The pain and loss were real, adoption isn't all "rainbows and unicorns," it's also about recognizing the pain and suffering that will always be a part of an adoptees life and the life of birthparents.   The group made me think about how I would talk about different topics to our own child.  It really made me think about God's plan and how it could involve a culture that required moms to relinquish the rights to their child, one that involves my future child grieving a biological mother that he/she never new.  It made me ponder how in the world therecould be a plan with children and parents being ripped apart by death, famine and war.   Yes, I know this is deep and please excuse my moment of sadness and questioning.   I promise it did lead to a deepening of my faith!

I tried to come up with an answer to all of these questions, but I couldn't find the answer that left me feeling peace.  I couldn't find the answer that was a good enough explanation for my child.  This morning I woke up and prayed about it.  I decided I needed to go to someone wiser than myself in the field of God.  Thank Heavens for Facebook messenger and having a good friend that just happens to be a priest.   I messaged him with my dilemma.  I told him that I just needed an explanation.  His answer couldn't have been better.  He told me that "all things work for good for those that love God.  God is able to bring good out of hardships and evil for those who can see with the eyes of faith.  So the evils of neglect, abuse, cultural policies, etc that take children away from their mothers becomes the blessing of being wanted, loved, belonging and the vocation of parenting, motherhood and family!  Adoption is a testimony that there is good that can come from darkness and hardships."    These were the words that I needed to hear.   It makes sense.  There are bad things that happen in the world, but we can all see them with eyes of faith to find the goodness that can come from them.   This is a lesson that can be related to many things, not just adoption.




 My daily First5 app even pointed me in the right direction this morning.   "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28

Kimchi eatin' Carricos?

I'm sure many of you have wondered what in the heck is Kimchi.

Kimchi is a very famous dish in Korea.  It is spicy pickled cabbage.  I'm telling you, you can eat Kimchi in a million different ways.  It's like Bubba Gump and his shrimp.  I've heard of people eating it with rice, in soups, with noodles, as a side dish, and maybe even on a hotdog.  It is a traditional side dish that can be served with or on nearly anything.  Kimchi is a food with a whole lot of history for Korea.  Recently we had the honor of trying this dish at a Korean restaurant in Tennessee. We were both pleasantly surprised by its delightful flavor.

Now, why are we the Kimchi eatin' Carricos?  When we chose to adopt from Korea we made a promise to their country to raise this child with an appreciation and love for Korea and its beautiful culture.  So from this point on we are no longer just an American family, we are now an American family with a Korean twist.  We plan to honor this promise by intertwining our good ol' country culture with a little kimchi eating Korean culture.  We look forward to eating Korean foods, reading Korean stories before bed, celebrating Korean holidays, shopping at local Asian markets and visiting a local Korean church every now and then.  I've already taken a wack at cooking the traditional bulgogi.  I must confess this was definitely a Korean dish with a "country kick".  I had no beef, so I was forced to use what we had in the freezer...venison.  <<<Don't judge my ways. :)

We look forward to this life we have before us. One with these three beautiful children. A life with a whole lot of country living with a Korean twist.  We hope to raise our child to appreciate his/her differences...I hope to raise all of my children in this fashion.  My prayer for this child is that he/she can view his/her Korean-ness as the beautiful thing that it is.  From my reading I've learned that being open and honest about things from the get go is the best route.  We will also have to let our child lead with how much Korean-ness that he/she wants at different ages.  Parenting is all about learning as you go.  As John Michael Montgomery would say it, "Life's a Dance, you learn as you go".

Our Timeline

Our Timeline:

• Realized we Felt Called to Adoption: March 2015  (This has been something that has been on our hearts for a very long time, this was just the first time that we accepted that we COULD do it with God's help.)
• Officially Announced/Began our Process: June 2015
• Psychological Evaluations: July 3, 2015
• First Meeting with our Social Worker: July 23, 2015
• Social worker home visit: July 28, 2015
• Home Study to Korea (HSTK): October 22, 2015
• Referral Call:  June 22, 2016 October 17, 2016
• Overnighted papers back to AIAA: 6/29/2016 October 21, 2016
• Acceptance to Korea (ATK):   6/30/2016  October 27, 2016
• E.P. (Exit Permit) Submission: 11/18/16  (Notified officially 12/30/16)
• E.P Approval: 2/24/17
• Submitted to Court: 2/24/17
• Court date: 5/12/17  (Kept blank for privacy reasons)
• Custody: 6/19/17
• Visa: 6/22/17
• Back to the U.S: 6/23/17 (you have to wait until the evening after your visa appointment to fly back home, just to make sure everything went through successfully. )

Note: As we progress through our adoption I will update this blog post.

Welcome to Our Blog!

I've decided to do a little blogging about our adoption process.

I've created this blog for several different reasons.

For our Family and Friends:
I hope that this blog is a good way for me to document our process and keep our family and friends up-to-date!  We are beyond thankful for the support and love we have already had through our adoption process.  We are truly, truly blessed.  We want to use this blog to share our journey to bring our sweet child home.  As we know more information, we will make sure to post it here!

For those that are in the adoption process:
I know how addicting it is to read Korean adoption blogs, so I've decided to give some of those people that are in the waiting process a little reading material.  I hope that this blog will act as a resource for those that are considering adopting from South Korea and those that are in the process.  So, if you are at that point in the adoption process that you are waiting...you know the waiting. Waiting for a referral, waiting for a court date, waiting for E.P. approval...the list goes on.  I hope this blog provides you with a little information and helps fill the addictive need to learn anything you possibly can about South Korea and its adoption process.  Maybe our timeline can help give you a clue as to how your adoption process may go!  

Note: There will be bits of information that I won't post on this blog for the privacy of our child; I want to always be respectful or his/her story, giving him/her the possession of what he/she will share with people.  There are also bits of information that I will not legally be able to share.

We hope to enlighten people about the road to adoption with this blog.  We hope to enlighten people about the beautiful gift of adoption, but also the hardships that are also involved in adoption.  I like to keep it real up in here.  I ask that you ignore any poor grammar and as with all blogs, remember that all of these are our opinions, so don't let anything offend you! :)  Enjoy!

Just a bit of information about our adoption:

• We are obviously adopting from South Korea. 
• Our child-placing agency is AIAA. <<<<Located in Michigan 
• Our Korean agency is SWS. <<<Social Welfare Society of Korea.
• Our Homestudy was sent to Korea on October 22, 2015 (HSTK). *At this point we are still     waiting for a referral.  We are a bit of a special case.  Right after we started the  adoption process South Korea (or just SWS..not really sure.) has changed the law for adopting if you have children in your home already.  Your youngest child must be at least 18 months older than the child that you adopt.  This made our wait for a referral a little bit longer than normal.  Our youngest son was born in April 2014.  Children in Korea are placed for international adoption usually after six months of age. So, with this said, April 2016 would be the soonest that we would be eligible for a six month old that was 18 months younger than J-Man.  (J-Man and E-Man will be my code names for my two children.)  Needless to say, we are quite on edge every time our phone rings.  We technically could get our referral call at any moment.   

This is definitely us right now!